The Wedding

I had attended Lydia and Wickham's wedding. I completely made sure that they knew I had attended. My plan is for Lydia to return to her house and tell Lizzy. I hope that Lizzy also finds out that I had payed Wickham the money. Hopefully this impresses Lizzy.

My undying love for Lizzy

My love for Elizabeth has not changed, but I hope her thoughts have. I have done much to get her opinion of me to change and I really hope it has worked. I am nervous though because I feel that if I propose to her again she will deny me again. On the bright side though, if her thoughts have changed than she might say yes to me. I do not know what is going to happen, but I do know I still love her.

Wickham and Lydia are marrying

I have finally found Wickham and Lydia.I am glad that the Bennet's reputation is not going to be ruined because Wickam and Lydia are going to marry. Wickham had asked to get money though, which was his plan all along. The only thing he could have done better is to ask for a lot more money than he did, what an idiot. I am going to pay to facilitate the wedding to impress Lizzy.

Mr. Bennet still searching

I cannot believe that Lydia and that jerk, Wickham are still no where to be found. If only I had warned Elizabeth earlier of Wickham, this might not have happened. I must help in some way to increase ELizabeth's feelings for me. I feel that if I do help, Elizabeth will start to change her feelings for me, if she has not already. I must do something to find them.

Elizabeth changes her mind!!!

Yes! Finally, Elizabeth does love me. I was walking alone with her and she thanked me for helping her find Lydia and I told her that I did it because Lydia is her sister. After I told her that, I said that my feelings for her have not changed since the proposal. She then told me that her feelings have changed and that she is now willing to marry me. I still cannot believe it.

Bingley's proposal

Bingley had been left alone with Jane and had finally proposed to her. I am not going to tell him otherwise this time because he is truly in love. Also, if I do say anything to him this could hurt my chances with Elizabeth. I am indeed happy for my friend Bingley and I hope that Jane and him have a long, happy life together. Now I just hope I can get with Elizabeth.

Dining at Longbourn

Bingley and I have dined with the Bennets. While dining Bingley sat next to Jane and I had sat across from Elizabeth. I did not have anything o say and it almost seemed impossible to start a conversation. I do not know if she still does not have any feelings for me or if things have changed. I cannot propose to her again until I know for a fact that she does have feelings for me because of my fear of denial.

Heading to Longbourn

Bingley and I have agreed to dine at Longbourn and we are heading their now. I know that Bingley still has feelings for Jane and I am wondering how he will express them. I imagine him eventually proposing to her while we are staying in Longbourn. I also am wondering how I will express my own feelings. I cannot propose again or at least not just yet.

Letter from Jane

I saw Lizzy rushing out of her inn with a shocked expression. She had been rushing out to find the Gardiners and I asked her what is wrong. She then told me news from Jane that Lydia is no where to be found and is with Wickham. I blamed myself for not exposing Wickham. She told me she had to go home and i told her okay because I understood why she had to go.

Miss Bingley against Lizzy

I can tell that Miss Bingley still has much feelings for me. Although she has feelings for me, I cannot say that I feel the same towards her because of my love for Elizabeth. I love Elizabeth and Miss Bingley is very jealous of that. She made a comment to Lizzy saying I used to feel her rather pretty and I said that she is the most beautiful woman in my acquaintance. Hopefully Miss Bingley get's the message.

Visiting Elizabeth's inn

The next day Georgiana and I visited Elizabeth at her inn and I introduced them to each other. Bingley had also joined us when we had visited Elizabeth. The visit was brief, but I had enjoyed it. I decided to invite Elizabeth and the Gardiners to dine with us. They accepted the offer and said they would dine with us.

Running into Elizabeth

I had ran into Elizabeth while she had been visiting Pemberly. She had been with the Gardiners, her uncle and aunt, and she had not expected me to be there. I decided to rid her first impression of me by being completely polite to her and her family. I could tell that her family had been impressed by me and that she had seen a different side of me. I then asked her if she would like to meet my sister and she replied that she would like to.

Thinking of Elizabeth

Ever since the denial of my proposal by Elizabeth I have not been able to get my mind off of her. I never thought I would actually fall in love like this and get denied by the girl I love. It seems so easy to get every other girl with my amazing traits, but now I do not know what to do. It seems for once that I have not succeeded at something, i had never thought that day would actually come. Although she denies me now, I know I will get her.

Letter continued

In the letter I have also inserted some facts of Wickham that should change Elizabeth's mind about him. Once Elizabeth reads it she will never take any interest towards Wickham again. She will most definitely take more interest in me, and once she remembers how great i am she'll be at my feet begging for me. She will forget all about Wickham and she will remember who she is really in love with. Hopefully my plan will work.

Letter

I have given her the letter trying to completely avoid any conversation in person. I have been wondering to myself what she thought of the letter. I once again told her how I truly feel, I wonder if she has changed her mind and knows that I really love her. How can she not love me; how can anyone not love me. She has to be out of her mind if she still doesn't love me.

Writing a letter

I am still disappointed that I have been denied by Elizabeth on my proposal. I feel the need to talk to her about it, but I have a feeling that she does not feel the same. I have decided that I am going to write her a letter inserting the feelings I have for her in it. I cannot let her be taken by any other man. I must make sure she is not taken by Wickham, so I will put the truth about him in the letter and then she will not feel the same about him.

Disappointment

I finally got alone with Elizabeth and proposed to her. As I said, i did not know at all what to say and just said what came to my mind first. I felt confident that she would still accept even though my proposal had not been the greatest; however, her reaction was not as expected. She immediately declined my offer and told me that since the first time she met me she knew that she would never even considered being married to me. Even though she declined me, I am still in love with her; however, she obviously does not feel the same.

Proposing to Elizabeth

I have now been able to interact with Elizabeth and am very confident that I have great chance of getting with her. I have decided to propose to her. I have no idea of what I will say to her, but I know that whatever I say her reply will definately be yes. I cannot wait any longer; I need to propose as soon as possible. As soon as we are alone I am going for it; everybody wish me luck.

visiting elizabeth

I have decided to follow my feelings and go for Elizabeth. I would like to go to Hunsford to see her. Hopefully, when visiting at Mr. Collins' I will be able to interact with her and show my feelings. I know that if I talk to her the way I talk to woman that I have an affinity towards that she will automatically feel the same for me. I have no doubt that my lady skills will not fail me now.

My New Feelings

I am starting to feel an unresisting attraction towards Elizabeth. Every time I even set my eyes on her I feel my attraction increase. I do not know what to do because I know that this allure I now have for Elizabeth is not right. She has nothing that would make me take interest in her; however, I have uncontrollable feelings for her. I feel that I should discontinue the attraction that is occurring, but I also have a feeling that I should let them be and go for Elizabeth.